5 Tips on How to End a GirlFriend Relationship

TRUE FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND, DIFFICULT TO LEAVE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.

I recently had to move on from several girlfriends who were in my life. Reality is they weren’t really girlfriends after all. NO, in fact, they were users,  takers, jealous, and the relationship was really one-sided, I was always giving, listening, helping and supporting, the relationship was not reciprocal.  They were jealous of my success,  but they didn’t understand the hard work and effort it took for me to become successful. When I ended the relationship, they turned vindictive, manipulative, hurtful and tried the guilt trip on me.

Fortunately, I am a strong enough woman to recognize these signs, so I didn’t let them get to me.  I also turned to my Tribe of successful women supporters who provide me with positive feedback and constructive criticism, who help me on my journey and path to success.  Unfortunately, one individual tried to hurt me through other methods such as disparaging my integrity, impugning my character, and trashing my business, I returned the insults with love and kindness and wished her only the best and asked my followers to send her positive energy and love and to pray for her.

The problem is that there’s no easy way to do it. Whether it’s via text, email or phone call, telling a friend that you want to move on is often quite anxiety producing. Deep down, you know it’s the right thing to do. Maybe she’s changed to the extreme, she treats you like roadkill, or you’re just sooo very over her drama. Either way, it’s time to respectfully let go. And that’s … OK. You don’t have to be friends with someone for your entire life. Friends come and go through the various stages of your life.

5 Tips on How to Break it Off

1. Be Selfish – ReRead my recent blog on I’ts 0kay to be Selfish

If you’re going to point fingers, Diffuse conflict by pointing a finger at yourself, Take responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship, whether it’s your fault or not.   For example:  Like what happened to me, If she’s leaning on you 24/7 while you’re holding on for dear life trying to balance your life, work, and your family’s needs, share with her the challenges going on in your life and tell her you’re refocusing your priorities. You can always use the “I can’t be the friend you need me to be.” Perhaps we should take a break.

2. Be Concise

Do Not pour your heart out in a letter, DO NOT put anything in writing that she can use against you if she chooses to complain about you or disparage you to others. Be straightforward, pointed and firm. Stand by your convictions. And Don’t apologize for your decision.

3. Be Honest & Truthful 

Let’s say she hurt you to the core like my friend did. Instead of lashing out at her and her flaws, let her know exactly how her behavior affected you by using phrases such as “It made me feel  sad, or insignificant  or … when you did this or said this, it made me feel like that….” You only want to share your feelings, you are not looking to get into a fight, create tension or prove that you are right, you simply want to let her know how you feel and what your decision it going forward with the relationship.

4. Be Nice ( refer to my blog on 5 Tips to being Nicer)

Be the bigger person, it doesn’t pay to be nasty, avoid name-calling or pointing fingers. You’ll be much happier later and thank yourself for being cordial, kind and being the bigger person, especially if you run in the same social circles and have the inevitable awkward run-in. 

5. Be a Ghost

Disappear from her life. First, block her from your phone and email, next unfollow her on social media so her life is not constantly flashing before your eyes. If you withdraw your effort until the friendship has gone ice-cold, she’ll get the picture. 

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