I am a Badass and You can be too

To my Dear Friend Jen,

I’m being coached by a wonderful mentor and personal life coach- Andrea Swensen from www.HelloBeautifulLadies.com. She recommended that I read your book  “You are BadAss” by Jen Sincenero.

Let me start off first by informing you that you are not yet my “dear friend,” if that wasn’t already obvious but we will in time be building a relationship and I look forward to it! I also am aware you receive loads of “FAN” mail daily. However; I am different I like to use the term F4L (Fan for life) it comes across more devoted and edgy but not stalker syndrome- in my mind.

Let me explain my situation a tad more. I am by no means a “writer” I honestly can not even tell you what an adverb is… (I’m going to go look it up on google because I am now interested in what it is). But I am out here and I am “trying”- my current life coach informs me there is no such thing as trying you are either doing or not doing, so I guess I am “putting forth an immense effort.”

I am currently as you described so vividly in your book “You Are A Bad Ass,” looking out the window at my mom sweeping the driveway in her slippers. When I read that line I about died, literally, I was plotting how I would commit suicide. Now, this is probably where you will say “wow this fan is loco #Imdonereadingnow but please continue because there is an actual point to this letter.

I could make this letter 2,001 pages of everything your book/you have taught me, however, you do not have time for that and also I do not even know if I have the vernacular to express it all. All I know is that my “Higher Power” brought you into my life at the perfect moment. I just got back from Bali ( a story for a later day it was nuts) and I landed myself in the LA international airport after my 17hr flight. Still, in a light psychosis from the cocktail of pills I took including; Xanax, Guanfacine, Hydroxyzine, Dramamine, Benadryl and a splash of wine to top it off. You could say my life had hit yet another bottom. I went to treatment for Heroin in 2012 and just been “John Kerry circa 2004” flip-flopping all over the place “trying” to figure life out. At some points, I thought I had it all together but let’s be honest… over the last 5 years I put together 17 months of continuous “sobriety” together- also being 100% honest you are now the only person I told it was 17 months. I would reminisce with my AA circle about the glory days when got my 18 months- cat’s out of the bag now eh.

Somehow I magically made it through the LA airport with no flight or any idea where to go next- I figured once I landed in the US I would know where I would want to go next, but that was not the best thought out plan. So I do what I always do… retreat to where my mom is. This brings me to where I am now, looking out the window at my mom sweeping the driveway of my Aunt’s house that we live in. It has been a FUCKING crazy journey, but long story short- your book saved me in more way than you will ever know. I know that I had some momentum going right before I picked up your book but your book is what propelled me to continue and to believe that life can get better! I mean look at you 😉 your story is so inspiring. I want to inspire people how you inspired me because “I AM A BAD ASS!”  I have known it my whole life but you helped me dig it out.

Thank you from the deepest most loving light in my heart for creating the person you are today! And not giving up on writing because you are changing lives- one page at a time 😉

Namaste

 

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