Mirror Mirror – How do We View OurSelves. – Guest blogger Jan Mabey

How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Is your focus on the activity at hand i.e. shaving, plucking, brushing, perfecting? Or do you actually take the time to look at the reflection looking back at you?  Can you look into their eyes and into their soul, into your eyes, into your soul?  It is amazing how little time we spend really looking at, speaking and communing with the person in the mirror.  If you are wondering who I am talking about, I am talking about the being who dwells inside the body you occupy.  We have conversations about our lives with, brothers, sisters, children, parents, girlfriends, boyfriends, hairdressers, barbers, workmates, psychics, and bartenders more easily than we talk with that person in the mirror.

I remember years ago, I lived in a brand new condo that I had bought before it was built.  It was my dream house.  Three stories, with a garage! I picked the floor plan, removed some walls, picked my cabinets, colors, tile, carpet, even the cat door for the sliding glass patio door for my beloved feline Flake so he could come and go when I was traveling for my work.  In the master bath, I had a full wall mirror where the sink and vanity area.  It made the room look so much bigger and brighter and every time I finished my shower and pulled back the curtain, there I stood.  It was all I could do to get out of the shower, brush my hair and teeth and move on to the closet.  Looking back I don’t really remember why I avoided myself so much, but I did.  I also remember the day I decided to stand in front of that mirror and look myself in the eye. 

It was actually rather funny, now I look back.  This was so hard for me that I had my nose pressed up against the mirror so all I could see were my eyes.  I did not realize at the time how genius this was.  Here I was looking beyond all the body image aspects and going right into the soul.  Over the course of a few weeks, I spent HOURS in this process.  Once I began to understand the person looking back at me was harmless, had rather lovely eyes, gave me a sense of peace and reassurance I began to feel more at ease, more trusting.  Slowly I was able to back away from the mirror a little bit at a time and embrace the container as well as the being inside.  

Most of the time when I pass a mirror now am either startled to see my mother (another blog I’m sure) or the woman I have become to date.  Only occasionally do I find my self-choking at what I see and when I do it is most often when I’m shopping for a swimsuit! but I still wear a two piece so I even fight that urge!  I invite you to try this for yourself.  If you find your self-uncomfortable looking into your own eyes or at the body that contains your soul stick with it, no matter how long it takes, a day, a week a month, a year a lifetime.  There is no relationship more important than the one you have with that person/soul that stand before you in the mirror.

Namaste  – Jan Mabey


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