NO is NOT a Word in my Vocabulary

No is Not a Word in my Vocabulary

One of the Hello Beautiful Ladies Bloggers reccently asked me for suggestions on how to overcome the word No. When someone tells you no or turns your down what should you do.  Well Ask Andrea’s advice says this: When someone tells you no, what do you do? Do you shy away and leave with your tail between your legs feeling defeated – or do you view the response as a challenge to discover the reasons behind why they said no? You are a negotiator and negotiation is a fact of life. Everyone negotiates something every day. Fewer people nowadays are accepting decisions dictated by someone else. Creative, well thought out and well-planned negotiations will lead to success. I challenge you to go ahead and invent creative options for mutual gain and success.

How you negotiate makes a big difference.  In a situation where there is a chance for an agreement, the way you negotiate can make all the difference.  How you negotiate will determine whether the outcome is favorable to you and whether you have a good relationship with the other side.  When the other side holds all the cards, how you negotiate is absolutely critical.

Suppose for example; you are negotiating for an exception to a rule or a job offer.  In this instance, your negotiation skill is everything. The best rule of thumb is to be positive and optimistic. Present your case. Make sure you have a strong case that is well thought out. The more you try for, the more you are likely to get. Studies of negotiation show a strong correlation between aspiration and result. This also works if you are negotiating with ytour children, spouse or significant other.

I’ve been in Sales for nearly 30 years now and I’ve been told No a lot. I simply look at the response to an exciting challenge. My customers admired and respected me because of my tenacity, persistence, and follow-up.   I’m not successful unless my customer is successful, or my family or my spouse or partner. We are all in this together.  In Business and Career I ask myself, what can I do to make my customer successful.  What do your customers desire their WIIFM What’s In it for me? (WIIFM). This also works in personal and everyday relationships and negotiations.

What do you do when people are the roadblock – You find their WIIFM.  You make them the hero, the star, you promote them to their management team. You build a strong relationship with them based on trust, integrity, delivering on your promises, customer service, and follow-up. I’ve had customers tell me that they have vendors beating down their doors and they won’t’ allow but a few in and I’m one of them because whenever I ask for a meeting I have something worthwhile and valuable to share. I don’t waste their time and they know they can trust me. Why, because I have their best interests in mind.


There are many reasons people say no. No to me simply means find another way to ask:

  • They aren’t ready to say yes yet (so find out why)?
  • They may not financially be able to commit to sign a contract or say yes, however they may be in the future.
  • Maybe they’ve always done things a certain way and are afraid to get out of their comfort zone. Your job is to help them out of their comfort zone.
  • No to me simply means finding another way to get to yes, asking the questions differently, asking the right questions, asking the hard questions so you can get the answers you seek.
  • Find out what their objections are so that you can overcome them.
  • Just because they haven’t done something in the past doesn’t mean they can’t-do it now, your challenge is to figure out how to help them overcome the obstacles or objections. However, you can’t-do that until you find out what they are. This works in family and personal relationships as well.
  • Remember, persistence, tenacity, and consistency, lead to success.

If you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

So, switch things up a bit and consistently find new ways of doing things and getting in the door. The only thing constant is change.  If you aren’t continually growing and expanding your horizons, if you aren’t on a self-improvement path then you are stagnant and falling backward. I recommend a book called “Getting to Yes” – Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in by Roger Fisher. I also recommend you eliminate these words from your vocabulary: But, Just, Try, Should, Ought to, Have to…. Yoda says you either do or you do not, there is no try.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.


Back to Top